Bereavement is the time we spend adjusting to loss. Losing a loved one is emotionally devastating and it is normal to find it hard to adjust to life without them. It is important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel when you’re grieving. Some people might lash out, others may withdraw into themselves; you might feel sorrow and longing, or guilt about what you did or didn’t say to someone. Bereavement is about learning to accept and cope with what has happened, rather than ‘recovering’ as this would suggest that you emerge the same as you were before.
There is no quick fix; you might experience grief every day for 12-18 months after a major loss. However there are practical things you can do to help yourself get through a period of grief or bereavement. Reaching out to others such as a friend, family member, health professional or counsellor can help you process your emotions. Allowing yourself to experience the emotions associated with loss, as it is a healthy part of the grieving process. Keeping up routine where possible, even simple tasks such as going for a walk or visiting the shops can help. Avoiding things that “numb” pain such as alcohol, as it will only make you feel worse once the numbness wears away.
Where can you go for support?
Support, advice and information is available from Cruse Bereavement Care, the leading national charity for bereaved people in England, Wales and Northern Ireland. The Cruse Bereavement Care Freephone National Helpline (08088081677) is staffed by trained bereavement volunteers. They can offer emotional support to anyone affected by bereavement. The helpline is open Monday-Friday 9.30-5pm, excluding bank holidays; with extended hours on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings.